The following does not contain any mention of how to spank or how to tie a rope. While these are a staple of BDSM, and doing them well is a worthy pursuit, they are not what defines someone as a Dominate. If you are truly looking to pursue BDSM as a lifestyle there are some very important things that any burgeoning Dom should understand about having and caring for a submissive before you cinch your first knot or swing a paddle.
If you’re just into casual BDSM as a weekend thrill or and occasional release then all that you to be a good submissive is do as you’re told. But if BDSM is more than a hobby for you, then being a good submissive is not just obeying. In my opinion the mark of a good submissive is just not their willingness to submit or need to please, but to whom they choose to submit.
The B and M aspects of BDSM are as widely varied as the participants themselves. However there is one element common across the entire spectrum, and that is the Dominant/submissive relationship. Wikipedia describes it as “complementary, but unequal roles”. I think this is a perfectly elegant description of BDSM play, but the underlying foundation of the D/s relationship is actually very equal. In fact I would argue that it is more balanced than most traditional relationships.